The Real L word

20 05 2011

5 reasons why the reality TV show, the Real L word, gets on my nerves!

One – are there any women of colour in LA? Any blacks and browns? I don’t know since I have never been there but maybe someone can tell me how come not one of them were “real” L word people?

Two – what is this obsession with mothers? I mean, I know we all love our mothers, biological or not, but what’s the acute obsessiveness with them also being your best friend? I am not sure if that’s healthy! I mean, my mum is my mum and my best friend is my best friend – I don’t confuse the two!

Three – The Real L word couple planning a wedding and getting married were like “oh my god!” They woke up in the morning and got on to their identical matching macs and started planning the wedding? Every day?! Jesus. What on earth will they talk about and do once the wedding is over? There surely is more to their relationship than that! Well if there was, we sure didn’t see it. Oh and don’t forget the chandelier!

Four – does anybody have, like, a “real” job? I mean, yes, fashion and TV production are jobs but does any one work in more regular industries? Or regular hours? Or hours at all? Is anyone a teacher, a nurse, a social worker or something a little more regular than producers of LA fashion week! (“My biggest and largest production ever”, we were reminded over and over again!)  I mean the world is in recession and people are starving everywhere not to mention the hundreds of natural disasters that occur every year, and you are worried about what to wear? Jeez, just be glad you have clothes!

Five – what is the obsession with small rat-like dogs and where are the lesbian cats? Lesbians have cats, don’t they? But obviously not in LA! And who the f*** will let a dog lick the inside of your palette! Dogs don’t use toilet paper remember!

But yes I watched it all – just so I could rant on this blog. Hope the second season is better!

We’re back!

18 05 2011

We’re back! And we’re sorry we’ve been away for so long. As you must have realized, our posting has dwindled over the last few months and has now come down to zero. That’s because we’ve all been caught up in the demands of work and home and have had no time at all to write.

But rejoice, devoted readers, we are back! We’re planning to get right back into the groove and start posting regularly again. Please send comments and critiques and most of all, keep reading.

Books vs Movies

19 09 2010

Why are books so often better then the movie versions of them?

Have you ever noticed how when you watch a movie made from a book you have already read, it never lives up to the book version? I always get this sense. I have read so many books that were subsequently turned into movies. One of the most disappointing movies I saw that was based on a wonderful book, was Love in the time of Cholera. The book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez was absolutely brilliant. The lead character, in the book was a strong man, with determination and patience. In the movie, he seemed so weak and almost pitiful… that was one big disappointment for me.

Another film I didn’t like as much as the book was The English Patient. (Barring Ralph Fiennes). The same goes for Memoirs of a Geisha, The Lovely Bones and even The Da Vinci Code! More and more books are being made into movies with hardly any time in between the book arriving on the shelves and the movie in the cinema next door to you.

Take a look at the newer books for young people – the Harry Potter series, The Eclipse and the Twilight sagas. I can’t say much about either of these as I haven’t read the Harry Potter series, except for the first book, which I didn’t really enjoy. But I’m a realist by nature and I enjoy a different type of story.

I think the main reason for this recurring disappointment is that films leave little to my imagination. When I read, I guess I’m creating my own movie in my imagination, in a way – my own interpretation of what people look like, how they speak and what places look like. I get to decide these things. This process of imagining and creating and interpreting is so personal, that in a way it’s a creative process of my own. No movie could live up to the books in my head.

If you come across any movies that are as good as the books they are based on, do let me know and I will be sure to look them up!

The need to pee

7 12 2009

Sometimes, when I need to pee badly and have no access to a toilet, I find myself wishing I was a man. It’s the only moment in my life that I really and truly wish I was a man and could piss while standing up. However, having said that, I must admit that whenever I see a man standing by the road with his arse half bare, pissing onto the stump of a tree or someone’s white wall or the foot of the road sign, I’m tempted to shout “Chee, chee!” (and I have often done this, to the dismay of my friends.)

But seriously, why do so many men piss on the roads as if they were in a public toilet? There are some corners of this city where the smell of human urine is so overpowering one can hardly keep from gagging. Yet, it is a perfectly accepted activity with no shame or penalty attached to it. So how can we get men to stop pissing on the road in public view as if the city was one big public lavatory?

I grant the fact that the rarity of public toilets in this country is the major factor in this problem, but is that good enough reason to expose oneself to every passerby? Surely women need to piss as often as men? But can you imagine the uproar if one of us decided to squat on the roadside and piss?

So what’s the difference? Apart from the fact that it is one of those gross things that men just like to do (along with gaping, belching, farting and scratching their balls in public), it is also because men are free to please themselves in this as in so much else, whereas women must be constantly responsible, well-behaved and submissive to every rule and tradition – social, political, personal. However idiotic, irrational, cruel or unjust, we must toe the line. The rules and regulations, such as they are, are all designed to privilege the male over female in all things great or small.

Now this is not an argument for women to win the freedom to piss in public. We wouldn’t be using that particular freedom even if we were encouraged to. But it is just one more example of the numerous ways in which South Asian Men are privileged over women, with no sense of responsibility or accountability for virtually anything they do.

My little green snake

12 11 2009

This is the time that my little green snake

That wriggly little thing

Comes wriggling into my head

Sinuous and green

She will make sure that my heart will break

Squeezing it tight

And tight and tighter

And I’ll spend the next month in my bed.

Lovers will come and lovers will go

Sniff, sniff

My little green snake is so true

Smell, smell

She stays with me, plays with me

Twists around me

Night-time she lays with me

Turns in me

After I’ve stopped missing you.

Whips around me

You who was once so true,

With the fruit

succulent and dew

Now just the thought of you makes me blue,

Spit out the pips

Crunch on the memories

But I have been and I have seen,

Forked tongue flickering,

tell me what is coming

And I choose now to stay with green.

Black eyes staring,

silky scales flowing,

A snake.

Twisting me around you

What does that me make?