Blogging: The fine art of the confessional

11 06 2011

For most of us, the idea of sharing the intimacies
of our life with a stranger would be anathema.
Yet confessional bloggers feel compelled to reveal
everything to everyone. Why do they do it?

And what are the private costs of living a life so publicly?
Plus, three bloggers explain their passion for posting


The moral police are here.

13 06 2010

Young people in Sri Lanka sure have a harder life than their counterparts across the globe: once again the moral police are out to get them!

In this absolutely ridiculous attempt by more powerful people to control the lives and sexualities of young people in Sri Lanka, the police are now arresting couples caught kissing and holding hands in public!

What happens when you arrest or reprimand a young couple for this absolutely normal public display of affection? let me tell you from experience: They find other places to go and kiss. The hand holding and more (done discreetly under umbrellas usually!) wont stop, it will just go underground where people cant see them. And when people cant see them what do they expect will happen? Kissing will lead to touching, touching to fondling and fondling to sex. Sex WILL happen. It is just a matter of time.

This arresting of young people outrages me for more than this one reason. In most of Sri Lanka except for the capital city, there is nothing for young people to do and nowhere for them to go. Having visited vavuniya recently i realized the starkness of their realities, they have not cinemas to go to, no parks in which to play, very few sports facilities, no major athletic grounds, no plays to go watch, no large national events head in their district, basically no entertainment but their mobile phones. And let me not go into what those are being used for most of the time….

Apart from this there is another reason why I am outraged with this arresting of young couples: I cant fully grasp why showing affection to someone is such a crime and is punished with arrest…what a waste of time and resources for the police force! However killing people in the name of war is rewarded. It is better to hate and kill than to love? Is that the message we want the next generation to learn I wonder…

I know more than one person who will tell me that “its against our culture” to be seen publically displaying affection, but our culture is changing and we need to change with the times. Read the papers and have a look at the kind of things that are reported, women throwing babies, 70 year old men raping school girls, someone cutting off a woman’s arm to steal her bangles; what about our culture then? Our culture is definitely changing: people 50 years ago got married by the time they were 14 or 15. Young people have the same feelings now that young people 50 years ago had,t he only difference being young people today have no culturally acceptable way of expressing it except within a marriage. And the legal age of marriage is 18. Something isn’t quite fitting here don’t you think??

I cry out to the law enforcers: Leave our young alone. Equip them with the knowledge and skills on how to live life safely, have safe sex and be respectful of one another. Stop putting them behind bars into overcrowded prisons and detention centres. This will not work.

So Tiger Woods cheated. What’s your problem?

20 02 2010

How is it the business of the whole world if the man cheated? He is good at a sport. Admittedly one I can never see the point of, but never mind that! As far as I am aware, it is not yet a skill that entails upholding Marriage. But, I get online today and see that millions have been waiting for this moment when he will say

“Many of you in this room are my friends. Many in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you worked with me or you supported me. Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me.”

One wonders how having sex with someone other than your primary partner is related to how good you are at a sport or a job. So Tiger Woods is not a good sportsman because he slept around? Oh is he just ‘not good’ because he cheated, and that means he is not a good golfer? Why can’t he just tell the Public, ‘what’s your problem if I want to sleep around? I’ll deal with it with my wife!’ ?

Is it only me or do you also wonder why people (including Tiger Woods) assume that

  • because you show them your golf (or your spot on diagnostic abilities, smooth management skills, blah blah) you have to reveal your sex life  as well?
  • sex is somehow a part of your professional life, even when you are not a sex worker, pimp or porn star?
  • sex is a conduit for your other personality characteristics – you can’t be honest, truthful, kind, etc to anyone else because you have now had sex with someone other than your spouse/partner/SO?

How about this for a press release?

‘Really, people. Find some drama of your own’.

Ladies Specials – Indian Women Find New Peace in Rail Commute (NY Times)

16 09 2009