Becoming normal

12 06 2011

A friend living in a Scandinavian country recently told me of his difficulties in locating and meeting other gay people to hang out with. It is so normal to be gay in that country, he said, that they are difficult to find.

I found this highly amusing. What would happen, I wondered, if we actually became so normalized that we would disappear into the woodwork? Would we feel less special?

Lost in a crowd

I imagined life where you just walk into a pub with friends, queer or straight or whatever, and just have a ‘normal’ time with no complaints about people staring. Your commitment ceremony or marriage evokes the same tediousness as does your straight friends getting married now. Your queer friends have babies and you forget to visit them till the baby’s first birthday. You hold hands in public with your girlfriend and no one gives a fuck! There are few gay bars and not many gay parties (not secret anymore either), there is no need! Finding out if film stars are gay never occurs to you and coming out is a quaint thing that previous generations used to do.

Somehow, I can’t imagine my community of gay men and women enjoying that much normalization.



5 responses

13 06 2011
Anonymous Girl

Blacks and whites were once separated by Jim Crow laws. Today, they are still defined on every standardized test and even the federal census by a few boxes indicating race. A world where gays melt into the woodwork sounds wonderful. One day, we won’t care about race anymore. Maybe fifty years later no one will care about homosexuality.

14 06 2011

I will probably be dead by the time SL gets around to even decriminalization (if). 🙂

Agreed, it will take quite a long time for all these things to be resolved. I don’t think you can build a hierarchy of identity discrimination, ie. that ethnicity will be a non-issue before sexual orientation will be a non-issue, etc. In some places in the world, being Black or Hispanic or some other minority ethnic or religious group can make you more of a target than being gay!

What I was actually thinking about was a hypothetical world where being gay alone is not reason to stand out.

15 06 2011
Anonymous Girl

Of course there’s no hierarchy of discrimination; I only know how things progressed in America. I am glad you’re posting; it helps people like me learn more about the LGBTQ community outside the U.S. (though I am only now getting more in tune to the American situation).

13 06 2011
Anonymous Girl

I apologize; I used a lot of American references before realizing the writers are from Sri Lanka. My point is that acceptance of homosexuality is a process. I don’t know much about Sri Lanka, but maybe one day (though possibly not in our lifetime) Sri Lanka will be like this Scandanavian country.

13 06 2011

not any time soon! Sri Lanka still discriminates on gender and ethnicity, we’re not holding our breaths for sexual orientation.

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