x rated

31 10 2010

an update:….

http://www.latimes.com/health/la-me-porn-hiv-20101208,0,5306958.story

 

In mid October this year, a male porn actor in the States was tested positive for HIV.

This is not the first time someone has tested positive in the multi-million dollar porn industry. In fact, a similar story broke out in 2004 when another actor tested positive. It led to the closing down of several porn producing studios at that time.

6 years later, nothing much has changed. People continue to have unprotected sex in pornography. No condoms are used, and even though the industry is regulated, the health concerns of the actors/actresses seem to have fallen from the list of priorities. Testing HIV positive in an industry such as this is definitely the end of your career. In one way, it is a health and safety issue and should be treated as such.

But why and how did this happen? One obvious reason is having unprotected sex with multiple partners which are one of the basic ingredients in porn. Secondly, we never see condoms being used in porn flicks, they just aren’t part of the deal. Buy why is this? Will the inclusion of condoms during sex in the flick actually decrease the demand for that movie? Are condoms too much of a ‘reality check’ for folks who watch porn in order to fulfill their fantasies, get their kicks, get aroused? Is the fear in the industry that including the use of condoms will remind their customers of the ‘real world’ and sexually transmitted diseases and ultimately put them off that porn? Or is all this just a perception?

And more importantly, why can’t condoms be made sexier? They have been around for over 400 years and they are still far from sexy despite developments such as flavored, vibrating and textured condoms.  We haven’t made them sexy, nor do we think about them in relation to sex in the same way we think of sex toys such as dildos and vibrators. Condoms remain medicalised, reminding us of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies rather than eroticism and pleasure!

I know a few groups in Asia who can teach the American porn industry how to ‘sexy up’ safe sex. It’s time to get into the act…

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How to Eat a Wolf

26 10 2010

– Sharanya Manivannan

Does all lust start and
end like this? Don’t get me
wrong. I loved my wolf.
I held him tethered like
a pussycat. I nursed
the rumble in his belly
with hands gentle as a burglar’s.
He lived on milk
and blood and ocean. He
had violets for his furs.

It’s just that he was
beginning to devour me.
He nuzzled me with claws,
fondled me with fangs
sharp as yearning
He snaked a tongue so
hungry in its kiss it
turned my body to salt.

How do you douse a
dervish swirl? I asked.
Devour it, you said.

So I fantasised
about eating his balls,
rolling them in semolina
seeds and roasting them
golden. I got blooddrunk
on the thought of the
crisp tender cartilage of his ear,
left to simmer in tequila
and cilantro. The dry teats turned
sweet when baked with cinnamon
applesauce, or drizzled with chocolate.
The tangy musk of austerely steamed eyelid.

I set traps.

Mine is the deepest void,
the deepest void you’ll ever know.
And so I lured him to a well.
A wolf can drown in its own
wetness. But mine swam
and lapped and doggypaddled
until I waded back in to get him.

Mine is the darkest smoulder,
the darkest smoulder you’ll ever know.
And so I conspired to let him burn.
A wolf can poach in its own juices.
But mine danced on coals and leapt
ablaze, until I pussyfooted back in to get him.

I became desperate.
I preached to my wolf
about suicide, proselytized
about reincarnation. Come back
as a sleepy kitten, I said.
Come back as a hibernating bear.
Come back as a snail with a flag trail of surrender.
But my love was indefatigable. It was
volcano and oceanic tremor. It was a black lace bra and
too much jazz at 3 a.m.
My love was as big as betrayal.
I pleaded and pleaded until

you finally looked up and said,
You can only kill a wolf
you don’t want to have,

and only then did I see that

your love
was exactly
the size of two fists.

http://sharanyamanivannan.wordpress.com/

Sharanya Manivannan was born in India on 30 July 1985 and grew up in Sri Lanka and Malaysia. She lives in Kuala Lumpur and Chennai. She is well-known for both her unique bilingual (English, Tamil) writing and performances. She is well-known as the first and only writer to use both languages in Malaysia’s modern underground independent writers’ community. She has received positive remarks about her writing from international writers such as Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Indran Amirthanayagam, Francesca Beard, Shreekumar Varma and Laksmi Pamuntjak.





Butch wanted

24 10 2010

Location: Sri Lanka

Wages: Negotiable with benefits

We are currently seeking women with strong butch backgrounds. Ideal candidates will come from top level roles and will be experienced in client-servicing with good negotiation and interpersonal skills. They will have a strategic mindset. Individuals shall also have a proven track record of delivering results whilst building partnerships with considerable gravitas.

The role holder shall forge profitable long term relationships and shall ensure customer satisfaction at all times.

Qualifications include:

A cheerful/ tranquil temperament
Physical strength and stamina
An interest in health, fitness and personal care
Crisis management skills
Driving skills|
A professional career or financially viable trade
Experience in pleasure delivery plus at least two additional skills
ie: cookery, carpentry, financial management
A sense of humor

If you believe you are at this level and have the correct skills, please forward your CV accordingly. Due to a large anticipated response, if you do not hear back from us within 14 days, please assume your application has not been successful.

 





FIT – the movie

20 10 2010

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/media/current_releases/3638.asp

FIT – Stonewall’s film for schools – is an intelligent, powerful and entertaining film. The storyline uses hip-hop, humour, colourful Adidas tracksuits and lively writing similar to Channel 4’s Skins to communicate with pupils in a way that makes it easy for them to engage with the issues raised.

The interactive DVD has been devised to tackle homophobic bullying and encourage pupils to challenge their widespread use of the word ‘gay’ to mean anything rubbish or inadequate. It gives further support to teachers who have recently reported being extremely under-resourced in tackling homophobic bullying in their schools.





Pass me the plate with a red herring on it

19 10 2010

I read comments with more interest than the news itself! It happens all the time, like this morning when I read about the GMOA statement that male nurses shouldn’t enter labour rooms and that (female) patients should be able to choose. We don’t seem to have moved far from the time Elizabeth Blackwell tried to become a doctor. Many things about this news article bothered me.

If we ask for gender equality/equity  in employment, male nurses must be as acceptable as female doctors, engineers and mechanics. If one kind of trained employee (i.e. nurse) is not acceptable in a specific setting (i.e. labour room) because they are men, then shouldn’t other trained employees who are men also be asked to exit that setting? How is it ok for as many males to enter the labour room as gynaecologists but not even one male to enter the labour room as a nurse (or heaven forbid, an attendant) ?

It appears to me then, that this is what we must do. Let us allow the more privileged male to enter labour rooms but not the less privileged male. And let us not even point out the heterosexist nature of that discussion that has taken place because the next thing we know, the GMOA will want every nurse – male or female – to report on their sexual behaviour.

And above all, let us not encourage or demand professional behaviour or better systems in place to prevent abuse of patients in case we lose sight of that lovely red herring called ‘women’s dignity’.





The art of letting go

10 10 2010

I have never known the art of letting go. The art of losing, yes. But not of letting go, of people and spaces that I have greatly loved.

It is hard to know if this is the moment to let go of someone or some space, walk away from things you believe in, things you like to do, the spaces you embraced. It is difficult for me to judge if I should let go right now or if I should stay till tomorrow. How do I know if my staying in that space will make things better and if I will regret walking away? Am I not letting go because I truly see the worth of being in that space or because of my fears and needs? Or because I want to stay addicted to the love and the laughter, the adrenaline and the driving energy?

And so, it has always been hard for me to see that moment when you have to let go and walk away. If I were Lyra’s Will I might not have seen that little patch of air which is the entrance to another world. But sometimes, suddenly there is a moment when I feel detached, when I can step away from it all, see the snag in the air and slip in.





Three poems

7 10 2010

GUEST WRITER – Bella

Perfection

Perfection
Lies in the
Warmth of your embrace.
In the fullness of your lips
As you kiss,
In your eyes
Deep dark and honest,
In your curves
Your smooth skin
Long legs
And the sweet taste of heaven
That lies between.

Forever after

You tell me
While looking deep into my eyes
That I’m beautiful.
That you wish we’d met before
That you couldn’t imagine life without me.
That’s I am what you’ve been waiting for.
You tell me I’m enchanting.
And that you’ve never met anyone like me.
And that you will always love me
Forever and ever….

I smile and hold your head close to my chest.
I’ve heard those words before.
And in the eyes and hearts and minds of the people
Who spoke those words,
I ceased to be
All that.
I wonder,
How long,
Before you don’t want
Our forever after…

Wife

“Married?!?
Myeeeee child…congratulations!”
So what are you now…
Mrs…Mrs. who?”…
“Weeraratne” I say.
“It’s a perfectly good name.
Didn’t see any point in changing it”.
“Hmmm..”
She’s not amused.
“So, you cook?”
It’s the question I get asked most often.
“No” I reply,
“My husband does”.
She looks horrified.
“You clean then?…
And do the washing?…”
It’s inevitably the follow up question…
“Not really..
We’ve got people for that.”
She’s livid.
You’d think I killed someone.
“That’s not marriage.”
She snorts.
I’ve heard this too many times now to lose my temper.
So I smile politely and make an excuse to leave.
It annoys me,
Talking to women,
Who weigh and value a woman’s worth
On how many meals she can cook
Or how many dishes she can clean.
I hope she doesn’t have daughters of her own…